For the past four decades summer plans have been something I made with joy centered around family events or private getaway time with my husband. After losing him last year, this summer is an entirely different proposition, stretching in front of me in ways that are unexpectedly new. I’ve found myself longing for a social group to emerge, where an upper age limit is not a prohibition and where dating is not the goal. Instead, those attending are merely seeking people to join for social activities or day trips, planned or unplanned, instead of going solo.
There used to be a group of single older adults in Wilton who called themselves “The Adventurers.” This group was formed over 30 years ago but has diminished in size and scope with many of the members no longer with us. My husband and I always wished we could join them, but as a couple this didn’t work. The Adventurers was not a group focused on finding partners. Instead, it was focused on being a group of mature single people who shared their social life and group companionship on a regular basis going to dinner, to plays at Peterborough Players, dancing, movies, museums or just gathering to socialize where members could pick and choose what they wanted to attend.
Later we participated in a group, The Questers, that had members from Wilton, Peterborough, Francestown, several towns in Massachusetts, and people who came and went over time from various other communities. We visited historic sites and museums, attended cultural and educational events always with a restaurant stop as part of the package. It lasted for around 20 years until COVID-19 forced us to disband and we never got back together.
During this time, I also was part of a long-standing community of adult learners based in Fitchburg. Those taking classes or serving on the board or on various committees formed a community that acted as a social resource for people in all stages of life. It meant that there was always someone to call to join in spontaneous adventures or for a quick meal. When COVID-19 struck, we reverted to gathering via Zoom. It was not ideal, but it allowed those housebound to not feel alone during this time of enforced isolation. But that changed a year ago when a decision was made by the university liaison to disband the board and all committees and cut the number of classes offered into a shorter time frame. This left many also losing the majority of their social network. What the administration had forgotten was that this 20-year-old program had begun with two objectives: adult learning and community building for older adults. That second component was completely thrown out, leaving a huge gap in many people’s lives.
This led me to research other options. What I’ve found is pretty dismal on the social side. Many groups with Senior in the title, no matter how they advertise themselves, are mainly dating websites dedicated to enlisting people who are seeking a more permanent partnership, usually for a fee of some sort. And if a photo is requested, that is a red flag to me, since I’m not looking to pair up, particularly with someone whose looks need approval.
Like me, I’m sure there are others not yet ready to settle in front of the TV and binge on old movies or go to a restaurant with a book their only companion, although that’s the option I frequently choose. I looked into several senior centers around the region and found they usually have a nice list of activities for those interested in crafts, reading and other indoor activities, while also hosting a few hiking and biking groups. Although I’m not looking to join a bingo or pickleball team, I can always be enticed by the chance to swim and be further enticed by things that exercise my mind. If you want to drive as far as Nashua, the Nashua Senior Activity Center has a varied list of activities and trips that are appealing and might be worth investigating.
In the other direction, the Jaffrey Civic Center provides a venue for art, education and civic activities with the primary goal of offering cultural enrichment to the entire community, while Peterborough’s Monadnock Center for History and Culture and the Mariposa Museum are year-round venues for lectures and discussions, music and art by regional artists. Even though one may go solo, by participating in the discussions that follow many programs, the outcome often is meeting others where the conversation may be continued in another format.
In the meantime, Wilton’s own library and the Wilton Community Center offer a variety of activities that provide a chance to join with others. Musical performances, cribbage, Scrabble and Mahjong, book groups, talks, community reads and chats, craft activities as well as activities for children fill a good portion of their calendars. There’s even a new mat yoga group for those whose hips and backs are still flexible enough to benefit from this activity.
Until the Adventurers regenerates or another group forms, those of us who want to explore all that New England has to offer without always going solo, have several places to begin.
