On Saturday, the McCarthy family gathered on the side of Mountain Road in Jaffrey to honor a brother, a son, and a father.
To mark the 10 year anniversary of James “Jimmy” McCarthy Jr.’s death, the family updated the memorial that sits at the site of the car accident in which he was killed. As they put up a new cross, music could be heard from a wedding nearby – “See You Again” by Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth, a tribute to deceased “Fast and Furious” actor Paul Walker.
The family took it as a sign Jimmy was there with them in spirit.
“I don’t believe in ghosts, but his spirit will always be with us,” said Jim McCarthy Sr. “The song was certainly a strange coincidence because it isn’t really a wedding song.”
“People say that it gets easier and easier, but it doesn’t,” said Meghan McCarthy, Jimmy’s’ sister. “You learn to live with the pain. It never changes. It’s always there.”
The loss was a devastating one, as they had not only lost a brother and son, but Elivia Anderson-McCarthy – who was 11 months old at the time – was left fatherless.
“Every year that Elivia gets older, it’s another year that she grows up without her father, which is hard for all of us,” said Thereasa Anderson, Elivia’s mother. “Every little milestone is another thing being missed.”
While Elivia has no memories of her father, the family makes sure Elivia knows what kind of person he was. In addition to creating a photo album, the family regularly brings Elivia to her father’s memorial.
“I never really knew him, but he’s really important to me,” said Elivia, shortly after showing the background on her phone, a photograph of her as a baby with her dad. “I feel like we’re connected, like he’s here with me.”
When Thereasa was working, Jim and his wife Gail offered to watch Elivia. Jimmy’s brother Danny – who was in the car with Jimmy – brings Elivia to cheerleading practice and regularly attends father-daughter dances with her.
“After the car accident, Danny held Jimmy in his arms and made a promise to always be there for Elivia,” said Gail, Jimmy’s mother. Danny later went on to name his son Jimmy, in honor of his brother.
While the loss hasn’t lessened the pain, the McCarthys find bright moments when they can.
“He had a black Volkswagen Jetta that he loved, so anytime we see a Jetta, it’s a happy moment,” said Jim. Monarch butterflies and the song “I’ll Be Missing You” by Puff Daddy and Faith Evans also evoke good thoughts within the family.
“If I’m having a bad morning and that song comes on, I know my day is going to get better,” said Thereasa.
Jimmy’s death has offered solace to another family tragedy: 21 hours after birth, his sister Jenna lost her first born son Kayden.
“It makes me feel a little better knowing that James is up there watching over Kayden,” said Jenna.
Nicholas Handy can be reached at 924-7172 ext. 235 or nhandy@ledgertranscript.com. He is also on Twitter @nhandyMLT.