Peterborough’s autumn series of Community Conversations on racial justice moved slowly and went light on action items on how to stop racism in the community, but that’s intentional, facilitators Balmeet Lasky and Leaf Seligman said.
“Most people want to know how to make Peterborough less racist,” Seligman said, but to her and Lasky, learning how to listen deeply and provide a space where others feel that they can fully express themselves are essential prerequisites to real change.
“When a body feels in any way threatened or endangered, the part that is able to learn information goes offline,” Lasky said. “It means that, at a rally or protest or vigil where I’m screaming at you and you’re screaming at me, I’m not listening, I’m not absorbing.” She and Seligman are moderating the group conversations in ways that help participants self-regulate, an important factor in whether a conversation is ultimately productive or not, she said. If a person can cultivate active listening, tenderness, and compassion for their self and others, they’re more able to manifest a true solution, Lasky said.
The Monadnock Center for History and Culture sponsored three outdoor conversation circles this fall in the wake of summer Black Lives Matter rallies in town, and a virtual listening session on racial justice and policing with town officials and the Peterborough Police Department and its follow up, Seligman said.
“I think it would be fair to say some harm occurred in that call,” she said, referencing an emotional Zoom meeting in July, where two residents of color who’d previously shared their stories were driven to leave the discussion after Police Chief Scott Guinard responded to their reports of treatment by police officers that made them uncomfortable, saying that in both cases, there was more to the story than the residents had shared or known.
“Zoom is not necessarily the best place for these kinds of controversial interactions,” Lasky said. She and Seligman, who are experienced in facilitating fruitful conversations among family members and communities, proposed a restorative justice process to the town to specifically address the harm from that meeting, as well as a series of community conversations better structured for a topic like racial justice as a next step for the community.
Although the town of Peterborough agreed to pay Lasky and Seligman to facilitate a restorative justice process that directly addressed the harm caused in that virtual meeting, an essential part of the process is that the person who was harmed decides when they’re ready to initiate it, Seligman said, and one key stakeholder indicated they aren’t ready to participate yet.
A restorative justice process focuses on where harm has occurred, and how the rupture can be healed, restored, or transformed, she said. Restorative justice is focused on the victim, rather than on penalties and punishment, which take the lens off the victim’s experience, Lasky said. Although listening circles and restorative justice tenets may be new concepts to some, they’re anything but, the facilitators said.
“We didn’t invent this,” Seligman said; such practices have been found in villages and indigenous communities worldwide for thousands of years.
The community conversations they facilitated this fall are meant to be part of the continued education and conversation community members believed was needed after the summer’s events.
“The circle is a tool,” Lasky said, rather than the final product of a community’s efforts. Unlike typical Community Conversations, this fall’s circles involved no crosstalk, Lasky said. Instead, she and Seligman, the circlekeepers, put out a question and every person reflects and responds, one at a time. Participants are asked to speak from their own experience, rather than convincing others that they’re wrong, Seligman said.
“There is a deliberate slowness to a circle,” Seligman said, and much more to it than simply arranging chairs in the right shape. They encourage participants to pay attention to how their body responds to other participants’ words, without immediately making their own point. It helps people to realize where they’re coming to the conversation from, Lasky said: “What am I afraid of, what are my resistances,” she said. When a person realizes they’re getting impatient while listening, it’s an indication that they’re not really listening, or they’re making assumptions about what another person is saying, she said. Those physical observations give participants more information about what they actually feel and think, she said – a useful skill under any circumstances, but particularly when a topic has controversy, consequence, or the potential of triggering someone’s trauma.
The first circle laid out the ground rules and structure, Lasky said, and participants began to discuss topics in the second circle, and the plan was to go deeper in the third circle, before breaking into small groups for dialogue over the winter and resuming in a circle in the spring. The first circle attracted 32 people and the second attracted 20, Seligman said. What’s said at the meetings is confidential and participants may remain anonymous, she said. “My sense is that the people who showed up are people who do think we need to have a conversation on race in our community,” she said. “It’s fair to say everybody cares about the community and wishes there not to be racism, but perception of racism is divergent,” she said, and that most want to know what to do. Although participants range in gender and age, all the participants in the second circle were white, she said, which both facilitators agreed might be a good thing. “This kind of learning is not always safe,” Lasky said. “I’m a firm believer that people who are white need to do the work of antiracism,” Seligman said.
Police Chief Guinard said he attended the first circle and will be attending more. “I’m interested in the conversations and look forward to continued participation,” he said.
Community and Economic Development Coordinator Karen Hatcher directed residents to speak directly to Guinard if they’re interested in getting involved in the hiring process for open police positions at a recent Select Board meeting, and highlighted the library’s “Big Read” of “I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness” by Austin Channing Brown. For information about the Community Conversations, contact Michelle Stahl at the Monadnock Center for History and Culture (director@monadnockcenter.org). For information about Town initiatives, contact Karen Hatcher (khatcher@peterboroughnh.gov).
“There are opportunities in the future for more circles,” Seligman said. “There’s no reason why we can’t do more… If [people] have an interest in having conversations that feel more fruitful to them than the ones that are happening now, whether with family members, or community, I would like to be a community resource,” she said. “People can reach out.”