I saw a man wearing shorts the other day. And the next day I put on my winter coat, hat, gloves, scarf, and boots. Both of us were appropriately dressed for the day – one day it was in the 60’s and the next it was in the 20’s and 30’s. Some of us have developed what I will call weather resiliency, the ability to roll with it, to readjust our wardrobe, to do whatever we need to do to live peaceably with whatever the day’s weather brings.
So I got to thinking about this. At The River Center our work with families addresses resiliency. The dictionary tells me that resiliency means rebounding or springing back; the ability to recover quickly. A strong family is able to bounce back from adversity.
Don’t we all want the ability to bounce back? Stuff happens, as we all know or learn quickly. We dream dreams and make our plans. Rarely do we experience a smooth journey to our dreams. Life intervenes and gets in our way. We get sick, we lose a job, our happily ever after ends in divorce.
How do we build resilience in our families? Dr. Froma Walsh says, “with the magic of the small, everyday things. A conversation here, an activity there. Word by word, bond after bond, families fill their wells with strength and wisdom, hope and creativity.”
If this is true, we can all do this. This is not an expensive Resiliency Plan. We all have access to building supportive relationships. Developing a sense of team within the family, the attitude that everyone is important, everyone is needed. Together we can get through this crisis. We will work together to reduce our grocery bill. We will all fill the wood box. We can all encourage the parent who is looking for a job.
Looking to family members as examples can also help us. I think of my grandfather who owned a saw mill in rural Maine. He was resilient and resourceful. He kept a cow for milk, chickens for eggs, and bees for honey. He raised a resilient family that lived through the depression years and thrived. Not by becoming rich, oh no. But they were healthy, hard-working, and happy.
Resilient families support each other through thick and thin. They celebrate together when celebrations are in order, they comfort each other when comfort is needed. They acknowledge the hard times and resolve to make the best of it, to figure it out together. Resilience doesn’t give up. It presses forward with hope that we will get through this.
Stuff happens. Life gets messy. Families don’t always have the resiliency they need to deal successfully with adversity. The River Center parenting support programs are here to help support, encourage and strengthen families.
My husband’s response to the warm/cold weather swing was to bring out the ice skates. He is hoping that the lakes will freeze nice and smooth for perfect skating. And if that doesn’t happen, the snowshoes are ready. And so are the sneakers. We are ready for whatever.
Let The River Center help you be more resilient by building up that rainy day fund for your family. Our free tax program is targeted at households with incomes of up to $66,000. The certified volunteer tax preparers will help you get all the tax benefits you are qualified to receive. For more information, give us a call at 924-6800 or taxes@rivercenter.us.
Margaret E. Nelson is executive director of the River Center in Peterborough