Natalya Szmatok is one of the many mothers who became a refugee in Poland; she is single and has three sweet children, ages 4 to 8. When I met with her in Lublin, she agreed to share her story, a life of perseverance and tough choices, the latest of which she made just a few days ago, namely to return to Ukraine. Such choices are being made by Ukrainians every day under less-than-ideal circumstances. What follows is a synopsis of what she related through tears, omitting some of the more-harrowing details.
Natalya was born to an alcoholic mother (the middle of five children, each of a different father), and it would be fair to say that she made it through childhood thanks to the kindness of a neighbor who fed her and took her under her wing. From her mom and her mom’s boyfriends, she endured both abandonment (for example being left alone for days with a newborn when 7) and severe beatings. She ran away several times and was brought back each time until at 8 (after landing in a hospital from yet another beating) she was taken to an orphanage where, she said, life became good. Her siblings were taken in by relatives. When she was told of her mom’s death, she refused to go to the funeral, a decision that still seems to trouble her.
At 17, she left the orphanage. She took a series of jobs in various cities, in a café, a hotel, a bar. She tragically lost her first child, divorced the father of her oldest, Maxim, and then met and married the father of her two youngest, Diana and Nazar. For a while, life was stable until he started drinking, at which point she left again, moving with the help of a friend to a town near Chernigiv and escaping when Russian forces arrived. She was saved, she said, because a friend from Kiev called, insisting she needed to get out as the Russians were on their way to her location. Prior to that, she had been hiding with the children in a basement; a few Russian soldiers had already arrived, but they “behaved.” So, one day before the major invasion, Natalya and her children ran five kilometers through fields to another town, from where they got on an evacuation bus to Kiev.
They arrived in Poland March 19, making their way via Rivno and Lutsk. She was first met by volunteers from a religious group, staying with them for about a month until they demanded she hand over the money she had received from the Polish government for her children. (Families receive 500 zloty, or about $150 per month per child.) When she refused, she again had to move on, coming to Lublin and staying in a sports hall until a volunteer connected her with a person who offered her a room in a house, where she lived from May 21 along with 18 other women and children. While there she “ran into” Marcin Radomski, the cab driver whom I had connected with during my first trip and who has a heart of gold.
Marcin continues to take Ukrainian refugees where they need to go without charge. That first encounter, he took Natalya and her kids to a Caritas distribution site which, he said, was a mile long. He called me about using funds to help her, and from that point became involved in doing what he could to ease their lives. The children adore him and his wife Magda, calling them “uncle and aunt,” and Natalya came to rely on them. She was thinking of staying in Poland, and when I met her at the end of June, we talked about the steps we could take to help her get a fresh start. The situation in which she was living was — to put it mildly — not the best.
Then, on July 16, Natalya went back. She had gotten a call from her best friend from her orphanage days who told her she had found a small house outside of Kiev and a job and invited her to come back and join her. Marcin and Magda spent a hectic day helping her; finding a suitcase since all she had was trash bags, persuading an agent to sell them train tickets after initially being told there was a month-long wait for them, taking the family to the train station and saying a teary goodbye. How hard a decision was this? Well, Natalya called when changing trains at the border, asking whether she should really go.
The family has arrived safely, and one can only hope for the best. Natalya has 30 days to return and still retain her Polish benefits. Some Ukrainians have done so. Decisions!
Ilona Kwiecien is a Jaffrey resident whose parents were Polish refugees after World War II. Her last Army assignment before retiring in 1998 was as Army attaché in Kyiv for 2 1/2 years. She arrived in Poland March 21 to help refugees displaced by Russia’s war in Ukraine, returning to Jaffrey April 14. She recently went back to Poland for two weeks, returning July 5.