Drivers cresting the hill on Cathedral Road in Rindge are greeted with a sea of small American flags at the entrance to Cathedral of the Pines. Each of the 660 flags represents one of the 660 veterans on average who die by suicide each month.
The display, called “Flags for Forgotten Heroes,” was installed on Saturday, and will stay in place through Veterans’ Day.
Event organizer Bill Rohr, himself a Vietnam veteran, opened up to the gathered crowd Saturday about his own struggle with mental health, recalling a time when he had thoughts of self-harm, but was able to call a help line and take himself to the hospital.
Rohr said the aim of the installation was to raise awareness is to make even just one more person aware that there is help available, and to make that same phone call.
“If one person makes one phone call, we’ve been successful,” Rohr said.
The installation also includes five large flags to represent the 120-plus first responders who take their own lives each month, and a single large flag for the 40-plus active service members who die by suicide each month.
“That’s too many,” Rohr said. “That’s far too many.”
Local veterans’ and first responders’ family member spoke preceding the ceremony to plant the flags, sharing their own experiences.
Rindge Police Officer James McGeeney, who is a veteran of the Army National Guard, told the crowd his role as a first responder has changed his view on how prevalent mental health issues are. McGeeney started in the department in 2018, and he said one of his early calls, only two months on the force, was for a welfare check. He said he spoke to the man for 40 minutes, attempting to offer him resources, but the man ultimately took his own life that night. Since then, in his three years on the force, McGeeney has responded to over 30 calls for people who have committed, attempted, or had made statements about wanting to commit suicide.
“This is something that hits home with me,” McGeeney said. “I always ask these people, ‘What’s going on,” and unanimously, they think the world will be a better place without them. As much as you or I know that’s not true, it’s a hard thing for them to grasp.”
Elysia Devens, a member of the Jaffrey-Rindge Memorial Ambulance, spoke of her brother, Sam Bordner, a Hinsdale firefighter, who died by suicide in 2019.
Devens said first responders should be the first line of support for each other.
“Be a safe place for them to share and vent after those difficult calls,” she urged. And, she said, remember, “There are people who love and care about you and would be devastated to lose you.”
Several mothers of veterans who had died by suicide spoke. Lynn Patton, whose son Sgt. Matthew Patton took his own life in 2013, said she has seen the stigma that comes with how her son died.
“It’s as if his service didn’t matter anymore,” Patton said. “He served his time, he was in for five years and ready to come out.”
Rohr said removing that stigma is crucial to getting service men and women help. At least two men he served with that he knows of sought assistance for thoughts of self-harm while serving, but did so through civilian health care, because they feared it would end their current career or potential for advancement, Rohr said.
“We have to stop this. It can no longer be a stigma,” Rohr said.
Patti Cloutier of Concord, whose son, Army veteran Sean Michael Cloutier, took his own life in 2019 at the age of 22, agreed that there is a pressing need for health care reform around mental health.
“This needs to stop,” Cloutier said. “He should be here.”
Cloutier and Patton were the first to plant a flag at the Flags for Forgotten Heroes display, installing the single large flag to represent active-duty service men and women. Then the dozens of attendees were each given several smaller flags to plant on the front lawn.
The flags will remain in place through Veterans’ Day this year.
If you would like to sponsor a flag in the name of a veteran who died by suicide, one of the small flags will be replaced with a large flag and an attached picture of your loved one for a cost of $50. If you are interested in sponsoring a flag, contact Kim Hebert or Bill Rohr through the Honor Bear Program, available on Facebook on The Honor Bear page.
If you are in need of assistance with suicidal thoughts, call 911 or the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or the National Alliance on Mental Illness at 1-800-242-6246.
Ashley Saari can be reached at 924-7172 ext. 244 or asaari@ledgertranscript.com. She’s on Twitter @AshleySaariMLT.